A Day in the Life of Marik and Bakura
by LuckO'theIrish95
Summary: So this is the start of many Y.Bakura and Marik centred stories that illustrate their daily lives and various antics. I'm hoping to make a list of fifty different things (Yikes! It'll be a challenge, that's for sure.) And there will be lots of hinted Thiefshipping, too :3 Rated T for future suggestive themes and language. Enjoy! (Abridged series-verse)
1. Practical Jokes

**A/N (and introduction/explanation)**

**A series of monologues from our two favourite partners in crime, Marik and Bakura. How's life living together in an apartment, with basically no other human contact besides each other's company? (Everyone says they suck at summaries, but I may be the worst of them all O.o) Anyways, enjoy!**

Practical Jokes (Bakura's POV)

Oh yes, I have to deal with a lot of bollocks. Every single bloody day. Of course there's the usual flushing the toilet while I'm showering bit, which admittedly is often my fault for not checking if Marik is actually away before deciding to leave the restroom door unlocked.

It really pisses me off because he does this, and then just expects me to laugh with him like it's all a big joke. Like I saw it coming or something. But how in the bloody hell am I supposed to see him secretly filming me drink a glass of water, or put chewed gum on my pillow at night? Or see him replace my green tea bags with tea bags filled with ground wasabi peas? Half the time, I'm not paying attention when I'm making tea, so I don't even notice.

And for that matter, how in the bloody hell does he find that sort of thing? Tea bags filled with ground wasabi peas, are you f-beep-ing serious?

Then there was that one day he replaced all the sugar in the house with salt. That was bloody annoying. I couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with all my baking until I tasted the "sugar." Bloody f-beep-ing genius, Marik. It's a good thing I'm not a complete and total wanker like he is, because he soon forgot about his little joke, and then I had the upper hand. He got a lovely batch of salty chocolate chip muffins to snack on while I sat back and watched the horror on his face when he realized what I'd done. Ahah, classic.

Though he's got me a few times, I can still hold my own. Especially considering I can whoop his ass on any given occasion.

"Hey! I heard that, Bakura!"

Bloody idiot. I'm not even monologuing that loudly.

"Your monologuing is SO loud, Bakura. I'm trying to watch Sex in the City, here!"

"Sex in the… Marik, what the bloody hell are you watching that for?"

"Because these girls are living the friggin' dream! It's so interesting, you should really look into it."

"You should look into fixing that brain damage of yours."

"Oh, and besides, I could totally beat the crap out of you, you know it. My midriff gives me super strength." **(Tristan reference FTW!)**

Another running joke he likes to pull, and I don't even think this one is intentional: He acts like a bloody blithering school girl.


	2. Let's Plays

Let's Plays (Bakura's POV)

It usually starts off with Marik blasting the bloody volume on the game, so that it's impossible for me to concentrate on anything else. And he does them in his boxers, claiming that it's sexier when you do that. As if the videogame knows any better, and actually has the animate mind to come to the conclusion that Marik is sexy. I'm sure it would if it could, but that's not the bloody point now is it?

Right now he's fixated his attention to this game called "Bloodlines." If I'm correct, I believe it has something to do with zombie prostitutes. But it's not as though it matters what the bloody game is about, because he never shuts up during any of it. Now, I don't know too much about these "Let's Play" things, but don't they involve some sort of game play rather than talking to the computer and screaming like an idiot?

Then, he'll begin to sing. Honestly, I'm not too surprised. After all, it is Marik, what the bloody hell do you expect? He doesn't want to admit it, but his voice is rather terrible. Very off key, and very nasally. And he's got some sort of fetish for 80s music and German pop. Oh, and referencing me every bloody chance he gets. Not even in songs, either. He'll go off on a rant about some bollocks that nobody cares enough to hear about, and then all I hear for the next ten minutes or so is, "Right, Bakura? Right, Bakura?" Guuh.

But don't get me wrong, his let's plays aren't always annoying. Okay, well that's a lie, but they still manage to entertain me to a degree. Sometimes, he'll say very violent and sexual things, and I like that… *evil grin*

And yes, in case you were not aware, I DO enjoy his let's plays of "Slender." Why? Would it make a difference if you knew the reason or not? W-well, I'm not going to say it. There's not a damned thing you can do about it either—

*Ding-dong!*

"Bakuuuuura! Get the door!"

"Marik, I'm bloody busy!"

"Please, Bakura! I can't do it at the moment! I NEED you!"

"Rrr, fine."

If you'll excuse me, I have some rather disruptive business to attend to.

*Ten minutes later*

So, it turns out it was a deranged fangirl. No doubt escaped from the nearest mental institution, wielding an axe, and threatening to hack me to pieces in my sleep if I didn't tell everyone the reason I enjoy Marik's "Slender" let's plays. Since I didn't have my knife on me, I couldn't stab her repeatedly to get her to sod off, so I guess I have to do it. I hope you all are bloody happy.

I like it when Marik gets afraid because of the game, then comes to sleep next to me at night. There. And if you want me to go into detail about what happens during that time, don't waste your breath because all we do is… is cuddle… *blush*… SOMETIMES.

"Bakura? Why can I hear a bunch of girls squeeing loudly outside the window?"

"Guuh…"


	3. Singing Songs

Singing Songs (Marik's POV)

Excellent! I love singing songs with Bakura, because we always make them so sexy! "Isn't that right, Fluffy?"

"Whatever you say, Marik."

Anyways, once we did that "Stand by me" song. Ooh, and the "Leather Pants" one, too. That one was fun. Oh, and I'll never forget the time we sang "Come Sail Away," and Bakura joined in at the end. But those weren't even the most spontaneous ones! It's a lot better when we just start randomly singing for no reason at all. Like that one time when Bakura was in the shower and he was singing a love song—

"Guh… what? *blush* I never did such a thing!"

"Geez, Bakura! You don't have to interrupt. And you were singing, I heard you."

"Y-you were listening to me taking a shower…? Bugger it all, I'm going to bed."

"But it's three in the afternoon! And why is your face so red? Are you sick? Bakura? Bakuuuu—"

SLAM!

Huh. Well, anyways, Bakura and I sing lots of different songs all the time. It's kinda shocking how a big record label hasn't tried to sue us for copyright interfer… indiffer… intercour—

"It's INFRINGEMENT, you bloody wanker!"

Yeah, what he said.

But we don't always use the melodies of previously created songs. Well, I don't at least. I like to write my own music. I have a notebook filled with my own lyrics, and I have to admit, my songs are a bajillion times better than anything else I've heard on the radio. Take that, popular music of the 21st century!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to write another excellent song to accompany our next evil scheme. I like to call it, "Master of Sock Puppets."

**A/N: Poor Marik… half of his dialogue consists of shameless, near-run-on sentences. I pretty much had to force myself to finish this stinker of a chapter. It's 4 am. 4 friggin' AM. But this one is done, and I've finally done one from Marik's POV. For some reason, it's harder for me to write as him… strange. :P Hope you enjoyed, and I'll be sure to make the next chapter longer and less rushed. Peace! P.S. (bonus points to those who understood the Metallica joke!)**


End file.
